Last year This moment

The old pictures
I think i am getting old fast, especially mentally. i found myself looking at the old pictures and missing someone. it was a really precious period for me in my life, thought it is finished now. i have, so no regrets. today i went to school and saw Alam, who also reminded me of someone else. i enjoyed the short talk with him. he is busy with his experiment, and he published something about neno on the journal. congratulations to him. i am busy writing the paper.
i miss the mid summer nights,
tears mingled in the lights
sweet flower shed
in the moon light... forever
Good bye , no never say goodbye,
goodbye kills the hope to meet again... the train station, the blue car...

Nothing sways the stupid more than arguments they can't understand.

After The Winter Vacation- Shagging Off
i came back to school after spending 1month in china. staying home was quite cozy , yet sometimes i became to miss Korea. many friends said Korea was small and bad. in my opinion, it doesn't sound necessarily, actually Korea was a nice place to live. at least the weather was much better, mild winter and sleety spring, carrying the sweetness of summer not far away. sitting in the room alone, listening to the rhythm of rain outside the window, typing on the board. although ii could not change the past, i still have hope. this semester will be rather busy but i will keep on to write on this lovely blog. Hyanghua's adventure in Korea. i love it. i miss my old friends in korea, who were living their life in their passionate way.

Driving License

after 3 weeks hard work, i finally got the driving license in Korea. but still it was very hard to drive free as others on the busy road. taking driving exam was much more nervous than i expected and my legs were trembling uncontrollably. ends well all is well. this year was kind of busy till the end. the lunar spring festival in china is coming together with the valentine's day, kind of later than usual. i felt time was too limited from my graduation. my parents and bother were expecting me to go back for the festival but i was not quite in the mood. both money and time became the top problem now. suffering seemed to be my close friends now. not one step is easy for me, while for others everything seemed very smooth. i need to have a fulfilled winter vacation and also a good preparation for next semester though the situation did not seem to be optimistic.

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

Merry Christmas!
i enjoyed the atmosphere of Christmas though i am not christian or it is so commercial. since last week i attended driving class in an academy and today i took the license exam on paper. for this exam i got up 5: 30 am , going over the practice questions, though 20 minutes later i fell into sleep again till 7: 30. after eating a morning apple, i hurried down to take the bus from the academy, 8:05 sharp. it was there standing by. there were many people taking the exam today, old and young people. by a seemingly touring bus, we were taken to a place named "young xin" it took us one hour to the destine and after some red and black stamps, finally we went into the room arranged neatly by computer for exams. as a foreigner i needed to show both the passport and ID card. we were required to choose from 4 choices, totally 40 questions within 40 minutes. at the first glance, the questions seemed to be very ambiguous. i was confused a lot. but after finishing once, i looked over again composedly. i changed several choices after serious consideration. finally i finished all and pushed the ending button. 92.5 points. my god... i got 92.5 out of 100 points. 70 points is enough to pass so i wasted 22.5 points^^ later i got to know there were 2 people failed among us. anyway, i felt relieved after this exam. from tomorrow i needed to practice driving and also another exam is waiting for me. a little hard to drive the truck but it was great fun when it moved driven by me... i could drive before long^^ happy . though it was christmas, no special schedule. no idea completely.

"Let us take things as we find them: let us not attempt to distort them into what they are not. We cannot make facts. All our wishing cannot change th

"Let us take things as we find them: let us not attempt to distort them into what they are not. We cannot make facts. All our wishing cannot change them. We must use them." - Cardinal Newman

"The first duty of love - is to listen." Paul Tillich

It becomes very cold these days. winter was knocking at the door and window in the deep night. over the night, the cars were capped with silvery soft cotton. i never thought winter was coming so soon. as if i was expecting something to happen, i was shifting between two places. school and my little room. in those days, we are reading "Jacob's room" by Virginia Woolf in our school class. i think i like this female writer, who is bright in writing as my professor said. what a shame that i thought alike with her at this point. the wrinkles are climbing up my faces as i am fading fast in such dark places without any sunshine. it is the greatest wonder for a flower still survive in such dark pressed climate. every day i am suffering from the sever headache. when i did nothing, my head was very painful, while when i think about something seriously, then the pain disappears. it is very strange. there are so many strange things in life, actually in my life. people coming and going, like strangers. friendship betrays, love betrays, only one thing never change. that is changing itself.
i got up around 11 am this morning, had a pretty, big apple as my brunch. listening to the music of Michel Jackson, one of my favorite song "this is it" i could catch the lyrics sometimes. it felt so gentle, sorrowful but hopeful. i reviewed the ‘Jacob's room“ because it is really hard to gnaw. i need to read it twice to understand what happened in the story, in the room when Mrs. Florina and Jacob did something in the room... creak...creak...evil... at the same time i was gnawing the shinny apple. it was sweet , good for my health especially when eating in the morning. what a gold apple! i know what will happen today. nothing will happen as usual. i will eat something in the afternoon, maybe milk, while watching some dramas from the Internet. i am feeling so good now, as i am writing something, my headache would not bother me. i just could stay unthinking. but i could not think the same thing more than twice, otherwise my headache will kill me.

i do not need to prove anythinng to anyone ~~~

i need to become a great ignorer in life.
my life is a little different from what i want to become. but i am still living it in the right direction. whatever happened , i will not die at least.