Cool summer night's dream

mother came back home

my mother came to me. she was "fired" from her job.i picked her up in the city terminal and had lunch at the famous bangil restaurant. the lunch was wonderful. i put Kim down at the station and came back home with my mother. my mother had two luggage one was smaller, the other was bigger and heavier. we were out of breath when we arrived home finally. after a short rest, we began to chat with my father and went out for some shopping so that my mom would familiarize herself with the surrounding here. i also walked Hera outside for the first time in winter, which made Hera too happy to walk normally. Hera could not help wagging tail and running. my mom bought me some apples, oranges and strawberries. the strawberry was really delicious, sweet and juicy.my sister-in-law plans to visit Korea this April and i am expecting for her visit soon.

a friend

one of my friends is leaving Korea soon. it is very difficult to live friendless abroad. i am stuck in my room with my dog. watching TV and reading are my daily lives. nothing special happened today, except that i suffered a period of low mood in the afternoon. sometimes i just became very sad and hopeless. but i recovered very soon. my mood is changing frequently. why do i fix on my mood? it is not important actually.

Beginning of Spring

Spring begins from today.Beginning of spring is definated as " the first "solar term" of the lunar calendar meaning "beginning spring" but is 45 days before the spring equinox" in the dictionary. it seems to be warmer than yesterday. later in the afternoon i went out to pay for the cellphone fee and some daily shopping.

Strange dream

Yesterday night i had a very strange dream that time was back in my high school where i knew a boy named zuho. it is so real that i can not tell it from reality when i woke up in the morning. does the dream reflect the subconscious desire deep in my heart? i felt low in mood and i began to search from the cyworld friends about him. and i came to know that he is living happily in USA with his family. his son is really lovely in the picture, so is his wife. time and tides wait for nobody. what kind of life i am leading now? officially fell into depression... besides the dream, nothing special happened to me today as usual. the weather today gets warmer. spring is approaching near at this Saturday.

Curling my hair

the weather forecast reported that the temperature would be -15 c till the coming weekends. so i choose to be stuck in my room watching drama and playing with my hera. everyday i repeated the same things, i feel blank when i try to write on my blog. i remember a sentence like this, future is the repetition of the history? i am not sure about the original words, then what is my future going to be? if i repeat everyday then no future for me. i curled my hair after a shower . later  i would like to read a book, then cook some snack and a little snap and dinner and tv and some games... while hera spent most of her time sleeping unless i eat something. she will spring up like a bullet and run towards me.

Slippery road

snow fairy fell silently yesterday night. early this morning we drove to the KTX station. the road was like a mirror reflecting the danger on the tires. several times the car was out of control, which was really frustrating. because of the ice on the road, tires kept without moving forward. it took almost 40 minutes to arrive at the station. i guessed Kim barely caught up with the train at 9: 30 am, then he would not be late for the appointment in Seoul with Mr. Lee. On my way back, i saw several car accident around my home and i was too nervous to drive normally. my car run like a snail creeping on the road. i was in a cold sweat when i arrived home finally. Hera was wagging her tail as usual when she saw me came into the room. a big yawing and stretching gave her a fresh new day and my new day started too.

Price List

There is a first buyer coming soon. i prepared the price list for his orders which kept me staying around the clock. i do not know the business world, like a new born baby. the sun will rise tomorrow for the new born babies...

Window broke into pieces

some one has been really trying my patience when i am in trouble. my life has been very hard without the deceiver playing tricks. if i am rich enough, i would like to play with him, but i am furious now. i quarreled seriously and threw away the chair on the balcony window by a slip on my hand, the window shattered into pieces loudly. Hera was scared and hided behind the close stool as she always did whenever scared. who threw the stones into the peaceful water? we cleaned up the glass crackings everywhere carefully and made up with each other again. i think people should not fix on one thing when the thing is logically unacceptable. it is dangerous to keep on tied to relationship with something unreal. we forgive but never forget. life goes on .

A good cleaning

My baby hera shed too much hair every second of every minute. i kept cleaning whenever i can. in the afternoon i watched tv and cleaned the hairs everywhere. i was starving soon and i had some rice left over in the morning. it is sunny day outside like the usual saturday always in my living life. saturday is always clean and clear. my mind roams around the sky through the blue sky and i picked up one of those white cloud  floating high above in the miraculous sky. i wish to wear the good shaped cloud in my hair like a lovely innocent girl, running in the playground with cousins here and there. hera popped up all of sudden. she is dozing off again... i am pondering on the question again, a question to a person of my age, not as young as a girl , not as experienced as an old. if the missing pieces in my life could be puzzled together into a beautiful picture, then what kind of picture is left in reality or dream? what is the left for me? what is marriage? what is love? the original sin is what what...in  my college course... A+

Fluctuation

i feel weak today. when i look back to the past, fluctuation of regrets and pity flush to my weathering heart in such bitterly cold winter day. "since winter is here, can spring be far away? " i am encouraged by this famous words whenever i am stuck in thick thaw in life. nothing special happened to me today. 3 meals as usual and a short snap in the afternoon, till the evening came, the shadow blinded my eyes again because of some quarrel. tears streaming faded my eyes. my mood is very low. i wish i could grope into past but i could not. life is hard. life is short. i am eager for money. 

First working day in the dragon year

i woke up early in the morning, preparing for a new day. the loss of hand phone gave me some inconvenience in daily life. Fortunately, i could use email to contact. around 11 am, i drove to dajeon station to pick up kim. 11:40 i arrived at the bus station, and i saw him standing aside waiting for me. i rolled down the window and called "bbangggu" to draw his attention, he seemed to look into my direction but actually he did not catch my eyes. finally i parked my car and walked back some distance to pick him up successfully. the short departure tied us closer and i could not stop chatting about what happened during those days without bbanggu. i kept chick chick chick the whole way back home. the happiest moment for hera came. she was jumping and swagging her tail happily. the lunch menu spicy pork ribs was really delicious. the working hours followed the whole afternoon when i contact our future buyers from uzbekistan.

2012 Lunar new year~

It has been a long time since my last post.
I decided to blog every day from this year , 2012, the historical moment finally arrived.
During my stay in korea, i finished master's degree and have already began to run my own business from this year, one year after my graduation.
My mother just went back to asan where she is working as a babysitter now. 4 days break from work gave mom and me a leisure time. We prepared food for the festival , which cost mom a lot^^ festival is for the family being together. although we could not go back home with brother and father, we spent lots of time chatting online with father, brother and sister in law. Hera adds lots fun to our life.
i would like to post some photos.

Stages

Stages

Stages

Stages
Monsoon is here. i am living in a small room with my lovely puppet - named Hera. She is a little baby of 3months old. I love her a lot and she needs constant attention and love from me. She hates to be alone at home while i am working in the office daylight. Usually i like to walk her around after i am back home. She jumps like little rabit here and there, eating grasses and flowers. But i could not take her out recently because of the rain. i worry about her catching cold if get wet. Every day i can not wait to go back to see my Hera, who will swag her little tail to show her happiness and run around me. i feed her twice a day, no lunch for her. because i can not go back to feed her in the afternoon. But if i gave her too much food in the morning, she would just eat up all at once and pooph a lot. She has a round white belly because i overfed her in the beginning. She likes to eat and eat.
The most exciting moment is when she understood what i said in words. When i said "Sit!" She understands and sits in front of me elegantly, looking at me with her pitious eyes. Since now "Sit"is the first and also the only word she understands, but i am trying to teach her more and train her into the most lovely doggie in the world.

School

Have you ever been so weak when you wake up in the morning?

This morning i woke up around 9: 30 and dragged myself to school. i felt very weasy. i handed my thesis to professor Kim soyan . i should give it to Pro. Yi yinku but he is not at school. he is the only hope that can help me through at the last moment.
God Bless me.

Suffocating

Have you ever cried alone in the night because of the darkness?

There is no more space for anything in my head besides the Blues... my Thesis topic. I never expected i would suffer so much mentally in korea. i wish i had never been here. Although next week is the festival week, it can not be more oppressive for me. Those days whenever i saw the christmas tree, my heart beats too fast. i am nervous. i am afraid. i fear. i struggle.
it has been a long time since i wrote on my blog. it was almost deserted till this moment. this moment is very dark. it is midnight. i can not fall into sleep. i fear tomorrow will be the same as today no improve... life is so long for me...
i wish i could die peacefully forever...
also i fear the life after death, the unknown world makes me feel more upset.
tears in the night, alone

Last year This moment

The old pictures
I think i am getting old fast, especially mentally. i found myself looking at the old pictures and missing someone. it was a really precious period for me in my life, thought it is finished now. i have, so no regrets. today i went to school and saw Alam, who also reminded me of someone else. i enjoyed the short talk with him. he is busy with his experiment, and he published something about neno on the journal. congratulations to him. i am busy writing the paper.
i miss the mid summer nights,
tears mingled in the lights
sweet flower shed
in the moon light... forever
Good bye , no never say goodbye,
goodbye kills the hope to meet again... the train station, the blue car...

Nothing sways the stupid more than arguments they can't understand.

After The Winter Vacation- Shagging Off
i came back to school after spending 1month in china. staying home was quite cozy , yet sometimes i became to miss Korea. many friends said Korea was small and bad. in my opinion, it doesn't sound necessarily, actually Korea was a nice place to live. at least the weather was much better, mild winter and sleety spring, carrying the sweetness of summer not far away. sitting in the room alone, listening to the rhythm of rain outside the window, typing on the board. although ii could not change the past, i still have hope. this semester will be rather busy but i will keep on to write on this lovely blog. Hyanghua's adventure in Korea. i love it. i miss my old friends in korea, who were living their life in their passionate way.

Driving License

after 3 weeks hard work, i finally got the driving license in Korea. but still it was very hard to drive free as others on the busy road. taking driving exam was much more nervous than i expected and my legs were trembling uncontrollably. ends well all is well. this year was kind of busy till the end. the lunar spring festival in china is coming together with the valentine's day, kind of later than usual. i felt time was too limited from my graduation. my parents and bother were expecting me to go back for the festival but i was not quite in the mood. both money and time became the top problem now. suffering seemed to be my close friends now. not one step is easy for me, while for others everything seemed very smooth. i need to have a fulfilled winter vacation and also a good preparation for next semester though the situation did not seem to be optimistic.