whose fault

Life gives me real headache
---------------------------------The whispering fish
lentil soup was great especially in this season of cold winter home. my mom cooked for me and it was different taste when in different situation. i am not exchanging with something cheap.
everyone in china was busy preparing for the approaching lunar new year. my mom said the town market was buzzing with people hunting for lions. so was my family.
today my brother was coming back from shanghai for this great traditional festival for family reunion. it seemed to be yesterday when i seriously quarreled with him for my unknown future in shanghai. after some terrible struggle tinted with hopeless tears, i realize my dream in Korea. it is not my fault to be fired from my former deen and failed in the boring exam, i was having other roads to take. god knows where i should go. anyway the present is precious because as someone said yesterday was history and tomorrow was mystery.
about the history one of my professor emphasized on the his and story, which was so so childish and superficial. we are not primary school students and he should not tell us something like that.
he should say something about the Greek philosophy like Plato or Aristotle.
my daddy bought two huge fish for us yesterday and he just put the smaller one in the basin. he said"oh , it is still living, should i kill it right now?" my, does it make any difference killing it now or later? what is the meaning of life for a fish? maybe the fish did not die for my daddy's laziness. he left the job to my mom, which meant the fortunate fish had one more night live but not survive. in the late night, after some reading i went to the bathroom and saw that fish. it was as calm as a very mild lamb , bubbling in rhythm. i was sorry to see her hopeless eyes opening blah blah~ bubbling. she could not close the eyes out of anger. she was mute. but her fate was doomed regardless of her mute. silent was useless. this morning i heard my daddy slaughtered the final struggling fish for life. she was struggling at last out of fear or faith? i know i am going to have a big feast very soon.
welcome back home ~ brother!